Expenses by Isla Duffy

Johnny Finnegan liked things to be right and proper. No mucking around. Just as they should be. He got up out of the hotel bed on Saturday morning and made a mental checklist for his day ahead. First he had to get dressed. He took a clean pair of black socks (no holes) from the case and put them on. When he was satisfied with the socks, he proceeded to select a shirt (pale colour, checked pattern), a pair of trousers (mid brown, not too casual), a tie (sober and respectable) and a jumper (maroon, lambswool) from his wardrobe. Suitably attired for the day, he went down to the restaurant to check what Moira had ordered for the breakfast. One egg, boiled for four minutes. Two slices of wholemeal toast, done until almost burned but not quite. A glass of orange juice. Moira knew how he liked things, just exactly as they should be. Cracking the egg open with short taps of his spoon, he was pleased to see that the yolk was satisfactorily runny. He pored over the daily paper for the rest of the meal. House prices on the up. Very good. New jobs in Sligo. Excellent. Extension approved for school in Roscommon. Good good. The waiter eventually came to clear the emptied plates. As they checked out of the hotel, Johnny took extra care to put the receipt in his inside jacket pocket and patted it cheerfully.

Outside the hotel, a large silver Mercedes pulled up. Johnny and Moira got in and it purred off down the drive. They arrived a short time later at the Viking museum. The signs were advertising the opening of a new exhibition of artefacts today. The local press were covering the event and there seemed to be a good lot of people around the place. Moira paid for two admissions and they went into the gallery. Johnny studied each artefact carefully and could be heard to say Fascinating repeatedly under his breath. They decided to stop for a coffee when they had heard all the tour guides spiel. Have you a receipt for that, Johnny asked as he paid with a crisp twenty. The young cashier smiled obligingly and presented him with the required document and his change. Johnny pocketed the change and placed the receipt into his jacket pocket, patting it cheerfully.

The Mercedes was on hand once more to whisk the pair back into town for a presentation to the local football team. Johnny was a great man for the Gaelic and wouldn’t miss a match when he was at home. The local press, present once more, seemed eager to take a photo of Johnny with the town Mayor and GAA county chairman. Johnny posed merrily for the cameras and had a great chat with the two men. He was asked to stay for the celebration lunch with the team and he said he’d be delighted. He happily bought a round of drinks for the whole team and staff, taking care to pocket his receipt at the bar. As they left a good while later, Johnny patted his pocket cheerfully.

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